


Tell Me That I Look Just Like A Man

by velcrown



Category: South Park
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Anti-Semitic actions and words, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Blood, Coming Out, Depersonalization, Established Relationship, Explicit Language, Family Drama, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Grounding techniques, Hockey, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, I was feeling sad, Knives, M/M, Medication, NOT BY CRAIG/TWEEK, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DON’T READ if any of the triggers in the summary apply to you, Panic Attacks, Past Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Schizophrenia mention, Self Care, Sexual Assault, Smut, They all need hugs, Violence, WON’T GET EXPLICIT UNTIL THE END OF THE CHAPTERS, actual angel kyle, asexual kyle, be safe and kind to yourself, cartman is a dick, craig needs a hug, discussing virginity, especially through water!!!, except cartman, fuck him, hockey is a good coping stategy, i actually wrote this YEARS ago, insecurity Over viginity, so I needed some angst to decompress through, tweek needs a hug, yoyoyo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-04
Updated: 2018-12-04
Packaged: 2019-09-06 20:40:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16840030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/velcrown/pseuds/velcrown
Summary: All is well in Craig and Tweek’s life. Their high school career is coming to an end, and surprisingly, no one has found out the true manner of the relationship between the two. A discussion of virginities lead by Kenny, stirs fear and anxiety in Tweek. The past keeps reserecting itself, and Goddammit when will Tweek ever feel comfortable again in his own skin? Craig and Tweek’s relationship is put to the test as important topics make themselves unignorable.TRIGGER WARNINGS:attempted rape of a minorattempted gang rapecruel joke about asexualityhomophobic language and behaviorviolence and bloodpanic attacks





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Please double check the trigger warnings in the summary, and please be safe. The fic will remain mature until the later chapters, where I will let you guys know when the rating officially changes.

To say that Tweek was a bit anxious would be an understatement. Tweek was freaking out. Majorly freaking out, like, rethinking his life decisions and all of his relationsuhips to date.

He was pacing around the men's bathroom, alternating between running his shaky hands through his tangled locks and dragging them up and down his front, messing his clothes even more. It felt like electricity was in his toes and his knees and oh god he just couldn't stay still. A small squeak escaped his lips and the blond slapped his hands over his mouth, attempting to muffle the sound. His body was tense, twitching; he was in bad shape.

"Fuck," he breathed out. Suddenly a new thought popped into his brain. "Oh, shit..." He ran to the door of the bathroom and frantically turned the handle. A sigh of relief flowed from his mouth. The door was already locked, thank god; what would he of done if one of his friends had followed him in here? A small voice in his head was screaming at him to check the stalls and make sure that no one was already in here, but he dismissed it, remembering that he checked right after he barged into the restroom. Right after Kenny had said- no. He wasn't going to think about that.

But, wasn't that why he was in here to begin with? To get away from the previously held conversation and think about the discussed contents in private? 

Tweek backed up to the wall, taking one step at a time, focusing on each foot movement backwards. When he felt his back hit the cold wall, he let gravity take control, and his limp body slid down, onto the newly-swept, blue tile. His legs were stretched out while his feet tapped out a familiar beat, some song he'd previously listened to, attempting to calm himself down.

Tweek let his mind drift back to the happenings of ten or fifteen minutes ago, to the lunch discussion that caused this whole episode out in the first place.

* * *

They were crowed around their lunch table. Students were all around them in their respective spots, talking loudly, almost painfully loud.

As for Tweek and Craig, they were quiet, enjoying each other's silent, comfortable company. They listened to their friends' weekend stories, harmless banter, holiday plans, relationship problems, and things of that nature, Craig occasionally throwing in a snarky, dry comment or two. They were content in the familiar environment.

This year, they were seniors at South Park High. They had made it through elementary and junior high, and slowly but surely, the crazy and insane events that somehow always drug in at least one of them during their childhood, had ceased. Everything was normal.

Christmas was right around the corner and everyone was itching for the holiday break, ready to get the fuck out of school. Mid-terms were drawing to a close, and the weather was at it's coldest peak. Everything was perfect.

Nothing much had changed within their group of friends, aside from one big thing. Craig and Tweek were going out. Their relationship hadn't begun that year. They had started developing feelings for each other their seventh grade year and had been officially boyfriends by the next. Things had been great. They were completely and totally in love with each other, each one's life secretly revolving around the other's.

No one knew about them yet. They just weren't ready to tell their family and friends the true manner of their relationship. No, they weren't ashamed of each other; they were only hesitant of the anger that would surely come with announcing their true relationship status. South Park wasn't known for it's loving acceptance, you know? It was better to let their loved ones think that they were simply, very good friends. And their ability to keep a secret as big as that for so long? That was something to clap for, if they did say so themselves. 

But, honestly, it’s a miracle that their secret was kept to well and so carefully this long. Just how long until it wasn’t?


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Discussions at lunch roll around in Tweek’s head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter’s a bit longer thank the last! Please enjoy!

Kenny coughed loudly and brought his fists up under his chin, his elbows spread apart on top of the table. The seven other boys paused their eating, looking up at their lewd friend to see what he had to say.

A smirk contorted his face as Kenny gently closed his eyes. "I heard that someone at this table, tossed their v-card into the dumpster of innocence this last weekend? Does that person care to indulge me with some details?"

Tweek listened carefully and continued to munch on his turkey sandwich. Well, not quite his. In reality, it was Craig's. Everyday, his loving boyfriend had made a lunch for Tweek; this had been going on for a couple of months. Craig knew that Tweek, with everything going on in his busy life (running his parents' coffee shop, dealing with his illnesses, and just the stress of school in general), sometimes forgot to eat and pack his lunch; The noirette had taken the matter into his own hands, now glad to see his partner even just a bit happier and healthier.

Craig snuck a glance to his left at the green-eyed beauty, his hair strewn, posture relaxed. God, he was in deep, and he fucking loved it.

Across from Kenny, Clyde flushed and started to stammer. "Kenny- It- It's not that big of deal. And first of all," he narrowed his gaze at the amused boy, "how is that, at all, any of your business?"

Kenny scoffed. "How is it not my business? I'm y'alls mama bird, leading my baby birds into manhood. Adult-hood! I taught you guys all y'all need to know about fucking, and now, in return, I want to know all about said fucking. Tell your mama bird, won't you Clyde-baby?"

"Fuck you, dude!" Clyde flushed again. Silence dominated the table, everyone's eyes locked on the flustered brunette, curious about the ordeal. "Christ on a bike, fine! You guys know we've been going out for a while now, Bebe, and I. A couple weeks. And, I don't know." his voice quieted, "We were at her house, and we thought we were ready for it."

Huh, good for Clyde, if he was happy. Tweek was happy with his own relationship, too. Extremely happy. He and Craig hadn't had sex yet, but the blond liked how they were. The dynamic worked for them. They were emotionally bonded, but not yet, physically. Well, they made out and kissed all of the time, but they didn't do anything overly sexual. Tweek wouldn't mind being a bit more intimate, but was Craig already ready for that big of a step?

Tweek looked over at Craig slurping from his spoon, unamused, his olive eyelids half covering his beautiful grey irises, focused on Clyde's story. Craig was happy, wasn't he? But, what if he wasn't? Was he wanting to take the trip to the next level? Tweek's mind was suddenly filled with unanswered questions, doubts, fears. That cold night years ago popped into his head. He didn't know if he was ready for something more intimate. His extremities were suddenly cold; his head was fuzzy. What if Craig didn't love him anymore?

Kenny beamed and leaned forward to clap Clyde on the shoulder, "I'm a proud mama bird today! Just look at my flourishing babies!"

"Shut up, man." Clyde spat. "It's not that big of a deal."

Kenny chuckled, slowly shaking his head. "Oh, but it totally is!"

Stan, to Kenny's right, suddenly elbowed him, earning a low grunt of pain. Stan shot a glare in his direction. "Dude, he obviously doesn't want to talk about it. Let it go."

Craig silently agreed. Kenny was a good guy, but he was a little nosey at times. Craig didn't really care for digging into other people's business. Epically other people's relationships. He'd much rather focus on himself and Tweek.

Speaking of Tweek and virginities, he wondered if his boyfriend was ready for something more. Craig made a mental note to himself to bring it up to Tweek later, this not being the time or place for that. Personally, Craig could go either way. He'd be lying if he said he didn't think of Tweek sexually. But until Tweek really wanted something like that between them, Craig could wait. After what Tweek went through, he would probably want to wait. He was perfectly fine waiting. He would wait ages for Tweek.

Kenny whined. "But Staaaan! Just take a look at yourself! You were bragging about finally tapping Wendy for months! I'm sure he wants to scream it to the world, even if he's a little shy about it?"

A sigh came from Stan's other side, the whole table's attention shifting to their resident ginger. "Kenny, Stan and Clyde are two, completely different people. Of course they're going to react to losing their virginity differently," Kyle reasoned gently.

Eric's laughter barked from the opposite end of the table, from Kenny's left. "You're one to talk! You haven't had anything! Dick or pussy, you fucking starfish."

Kyle's shoulders tensed. "A starfish's asexuality and a human's is not the same, fatass.

"Sure, fag."

"Cartman, I'm so serious right n-"

"Go fuck yourself, Jew. No one else will."

The table watched the argument, hoping to God that they didn't start something big. Kyle's eyes shone red. He jumped up, sliding his chair back, pointing an accusing finger in the sadist's direction. "You better shut the fuck up, before I beat the shit out of you!" His voice was a whole octave higher.

Cartman leaned his plastic chair back, balancing on the back two legs to get a better look at the fiery redhead. "Let's go, starfish," he taunted, crossing his arms.

Stan grabbed Kyle who was leaping towards his tormentor and slammed him back down into his seat. "It's not worth it, dude."

"Really, Kyle. Just let Eric be an asshole. No one can stop him, and we all know that he's never going to change." Token spoke up across from Cartman, shooting him a series of disgusted looks.

"Chill, C-man," Kenny said to his left, slapping Cartman’s sholder, knocking his chair back into place. "Let's get back to my main man here."

"I've told you more than enough, man. Leave me alone." Clyde helplessly looked left to his friend.

Craig was absorbed in his thermos, thinking about his evening plans with Tweek, not paying an ounce of attention to his table mates' bickering. Plus, about half way through the un-entertaining conversation, his chicken noodle soup had beckoned him back, alluring him in with it's delicious aroma.

"Craig. Dude." Clyde waved his hand in front of the raven head. The beckoned boy cocked an eyebrow, swallowed his mouthful of soup, and set his lunch down. "Could you get Kenny to stop messing with me?"

Craig looked ahead at Kenny and cleared his throat. "Stop," he dead panned and went right back to his soup.

"Oh, of course Mr. Tucker. anything for you. That super long, extravigant speech all up and convinced me to stop digging deeper into this juicy piece of news," Kenny said, arm reached out delicately towards the heavens. Ballerinas didn’t have nothing on him, uh uh, no sir.

Craig only grunted in confirmation.

"Okay fine, whatever. So, not directed at Clyde, but just wondering," now Craig looked up, "who hasn't gotten anything yet? I mean obviously, Clyde has."

Clyde growled, "Ke-"

“And of course I have. I mean, who haven't I fucked? Token has Nicole, and I'm sure they bang all the time. Put Wendy next to Stan and he turns into a cum spurting rabbit. Kyle's cool. Love and support you, dude."

"Thanks I gu-?"

"Cartman's too ugly and too much of a dick to ever get anything, so he doesn't even count."

"Yeah, wait-"

“So that leave our little, feisty duo! Tweek, Craig! You guys have gotten laid before, right?!"

The very un-feisty pair, blanched. Tweek choked on his sandwich. Craig dropped his spoon. What to say, what to say? Tweek's head was already swarming with thoughts and doubts concerning Craig, and now this? His body got even more rigid, his heart beat seeming to double in speed. The happenings of that night replayed and replayed, over and over in his head. He wouldn't be able to handle this.

Craig's eyes momentarily glued onto Tweek's shaking, flushed body. He need to calm him down; he needed to stop Kenny's questioning confrontation.

Kenny, oblivious that Tweek was growing more and more panicked, continued to rapid fire with his questions.

“I'm pretty sure you guys are straight, right? Tweek, do you have a girlfriend or what? How often do you guys fuck? I just realized that we don't really know a lot about your romantic side, Tweekers! Lay it all on me, dude! Are you still a virgin?! You actually might be in the same category as Carman, man. No one wants to fuck a spaz. You're still holding onto that v-card,aren't you Twitchy?"

Craig's fists clenched in his lap. That set Craig off. He wasn't going to sit around and let Kenny belittle his boyfriend. Whether they knew about them or not, he didn't care. He wasn't going to act like everything was fine and dandy while Kenny viciously ripped into Tweek's love life to throw shit around.

“Twitchy, you just have to tell me all about it, man! How does she go about turning your cock down when you ask her if you can stick it in her? Hah, that has to be rough, Twitch-"

Craig shot up and slammed his hands down on the table, rattling everyone's food. His sudden outburst startled Kenny and half of the cafeteria into silence.

"Shut. The fuck up, McCormmick. Don't you fucking call him that. And you're freaking him out. Shut up. Now," Craig snarled out, trying his best to keep his anger in check. No one called his Tweek "Twitchy".

Tweek, though, wasn't listening. His mind was blank. He'd thought so much about Craig and himself and if he was holding Craig back or not and about if it was time to leave his childhood and catch up with his friends, the constant fear of that night and those men plaguing his brain, and now, he simply thought of nothing.

It was as if his mind and his body had switched jobs. He shook viciously, like the troubling thoughts were coursing through his limbs, direct energy spreading to his fingers and escaping into the air, a constant current.

Craig glared one last time at Kenny and knelt down next to Tweek. He tried to look into his eyes to let him know that he was here. That he would make it all better. That he would take care of him.

Cartman jumped out of his chair knocking it over and doubled over laughing. "Uh oh! The fucking tard's upset now! Guys look! His faggot bitch has to-"

“Cartman, you shut your fucking mouth right now, I swear to God," Kyle said, getting out of his chair and standing in front of the bully, protecting the pair from Cartman's direct line of sight.

Craig ignored the taunting and placed his hand on Tweek's knee, silently thanking the Saint that was Kyle Brofloski. His fingers moved it in small circular motions, the movements too minuscule to be noticed by the others. "Hey," he started.

Tweek's eyes regained a speck of life (if it was good or bad, Craig wasn't sure) and his eyelids fluttered about. The table occupants (aside from Eric and Kyle whose arguing was white noise to the pair) were watching the encounter with prying eyes. Craig had to resist the urge to scoop up Tweek and place gentle, loving kisses all over his trembling, milky skin. He wanted to murmur words of adoration into his warm chest, his blemish-free abdomen.

“It's okay, Tw-" Tweek's eyes widened and he slowly stood up, Craig's hand sliding off of his leg. "What's wrong? Twe-"

“I. I need to go." Tweek swiftly walked out of the lunch room, leaving his boyfriend on the floor to watch his beloved run off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I absolutely love writing Kenny, that man. Love em! The next chapter will not come as quickly as this one, but it is coming! If there were any tags or triggers that you feel should be added or warned about, please let me know
> 
> Leave a comment or a kudo if you feel like it! Have a great day

**Author's Note:**

> There are around 3 chapters written so far, and my classes make my upload schedule absolutely sporadic, so updates will come slowly, but surely!
> 
> I’m still in the process of forming the whole plot, and am planning on some one-shots in the series, so please! If you have any suggestions or requests for me. 
> 
> I’d appreciate a comment, if you have some time! :)


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